Title: but would you have it any other way?
Characters/Pairing: Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Pepper Potts, Phil Coulson; background Clint/Coulson and Pepper/Tony
Word count: 1236
Contains: spoilers for the movie
A/N: Oh look now it’s 4:05 AM. Yeah I don’t know what the hell happened and I’ll probably regret it in the morning but have some incredibly random Tony & Clint + background C/C fic. Good night!
“There was no cellist. The cellist was a code name.”
Sleeping Beauty [The Avengers (2012)]: Fairy Tale AU / Sleeping Beauty
The Avengers find Captain America in the ice. He’s alive, but will not wake up! … Not without True Loves Kiss!
“I’d hate to see the look on Fury’s face when he finds out-“
“What’s he going to do, ground us?”
“Well I got grounded-“
“And who’s fault was that?”
“Quiet,” Thor says a little too loudly and they hush him.
“If you boys are done comparing sizes,” Natasha says, sticking her head out the door, “get your asses in here and let’s get this over with. I got a month’s pay riding on this.”
They quickly file into the room, which had been dressed up like a recovery room from a hospital in the 40’s. The only thing setting it seventy years in the future are the machines hooked up to the man asleep in the bed.
“Remind me again how we got here?” Tony asks, rocking back and forth on his heels.
Clint hands him a dinged up metal flask; he uncaps it, sniffs its contents, and gulps down liquid courage before passing it to Natasha. “Right.”
“Remember,” Clint says and points at Natasha. “You’re giving us your month’s pay. You-” His finger swings to Thor, who frowns at it in confusion. “-are letting me swing your giant ass hammer for a week. You-” And it goes to Tony. “-are coughing up several grand. I-” And he points the finger at himself. “-have to dress up like a Stark Girl-” Natasha sniggers. “-for a whole day.”
“Including the skirt,” Tony says.
There’s a lopsided look on Clint’s face that’s supposed to be pained but isn’t because of the booze. “Especially the skirt.”
“And the fake arc reactor.”
“And you have to salute me every time you see me-“
One of the machines beep loudly and they all freeze. Nothing happens, though, and they all relax. Natasha walks over to the super soldier’s prone form and checks his vitals.
“What happens if he never wakes up?” Tony asks.
“It would suck,” Clint says.
“Maybe we should put him back on ice and wait thirty more years. You know, like in the actual fairy tale.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in fairy tales.”
“I’m also drunk,” Tony retorts but the shit-eating grin won’t go away from Clint’s face. “This is your idea. I hope he wakes up to your face.”
Clint strokes his chin. “Well I do have a lovely face.”
“It is a fair face,” Thor says amiably. “But Miss Romanoff’s-“
“Just call me Natasha.”
“Her face is lovelier. So,” and Thor crosses the room in two strides, peers down at Steve Rogers, “shall we make good on our word and hope he wakes up?”
“I’m not drunk enough for this,” Tony decides and Natasha hands him Clint’s flask.
* * *
It goes like this:
Thor kisses with care, Clint just pecks the guy on the mouth, Natasha would like to do a lot more except “he’s still comatose and I like my men awake”, and Tony, well, it’s a rather drunk kiss that’s not quite on target.
When he tries to slide off the bed someone stops him, and it’s neither the demigod or the two SHIELD agents.
“Crap,” Tony says as Steve Rogers stirs, blinks at the ceiling, and then sees him.
The Star Spangled Man quickly sits up, says, “How-” and Natasha knocks him out.
Tony falls off the bed. “What the hell did you do that for?”
“I thought he was going to hit you. We can’t risk anything-“
“So you knock him out? Jesus, Natasha, we were trying to wake him up!”
“With true love’s first kiss-“
“Clint, I swear to god…”
Fandom: The Avengers - Marvel Movieverse aka Earth-199999
Characters/Pairings: Tony Stark, Thor, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, JARVIS; pre-Steve/Tony-ish
Rating: T? PG?
Word Count: 3,442
Disclaimer: The characters, story, and premises are not mine. All hail Marvel and Disney.
Summary: Tony and Thor talk about being betrayed by someone they loved and trusted, and then they get drunk. Clint is not pleased because his beer is gone and Steve continues to be adorable. Based on this Dreamwidth prompt.
Note: And this is my contribution to the Marvel Movieverse fandom.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, and if there was a word to describe something even worse than “worst” Tony would use it. Okay, so he’s over exaggerating. No big deal; he does it all the time. It’s just that he knows without a doubt that what happened early today could have been a lot worse. As in, Tony wouldn’t be walking down the stairs of the brand spankin’ new Stark Tower right now, making a beeline for the well-stocked open bar next to the shiny kitchen that he designed himself.
They were so sure it was HYDRA, raising its million heads after seventy years in hibernation. It had to be, since the energy signature of their weapons matched his father’s yellowed, meticulous notes. Well, it was HYDRA but it also wasn’t because a silver tongue had been whispering into HYDRA’s ears, suggesting they coax out the very shiny but very clumsy team of superheroes and super agents while someone snuck into the lab. Thank god for JARVIS and Dr. Selvig, who alerted the team in time to extract themselves from the half-assed fight and turn back to the tower.
No thank god for the Supervillain of the Day who was waiting for them. Well, he was the Supervillain of the Day until Thor said something in an utterly heartbreaking voice and everything went to hell.
“I will try to talk with him and make him see the error of his way. If it doesn’t work I will fight him but I will not kill him.”
“Don’t think Fury’s gonna like that-”
“He will understand,” Thor says firmly.
“Won’t work that way. Loki walked in here like he owned the place. Right under Fury’s nose-”
“That doesn’t make sense-”
“-and you don’t do that to him. You know what he did? He grounded me after my birthday party. Literally. Couldn’t leave the house until I cleaned up my act. He’s a tyrant, I tell you. A one-eyed tyrant. A classic Bond villain, minus the monologues.”
Thor gives him a very, very careful look. “You make no sense.”
“I know.” Tony snaps open another can. “You should listen to me talk when I’m hammered. Smashed. I am not bringing Justin into this.”
“Anything you say, Mr. Stark.”
“Not you, too. Call me Tony. Everyone should call me Tony. Makes me sound more friendly.”
“You’re a very strange man.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”